Nithyananda's Fails Basic Math with His Enlightenment Record

Nithyananda Has Trouble Counting to Six or Greater
Sri Nithyananda, are you really 'enlightened' and can make other people 'enlightened'? "Of course, I'm a genuine Paramahamsa. I came down just do that job, and if people compensate me with big generous donations, I will be able to 'enlighten' over 100,000 people in just a few years." Nice effort. Wow, money might not be able to buy love, but it can buy 'enlightenment'. Just amazing. "It's true! I should sue you for slander! We'll be getting lawyers and everything!" Cool it there, Sri Nithyananda. If others see you, Sri Nithyananda, lose your cool, they won't think that you're 'enlightened' anymore. We'll be sure to give your idea of suing other people and dragging them to court the attention that it deserves in a future post. We're not very worried about your empty threats, Sri Nithyananda. Just like your wandering years or engineering diploma, we know that you're good at make things up. Did anyone ever tell you that you are very creative? Actually, Sri Nithyananda, to be honest, we're more worried about your next wardrobe appearance. Sri Nithyananda, will you be wearing something that needs to be plugged in or will batteries be part of the get up? A jet pack perhaps? That way, you can make claims that you fly too, other than first class.

OK, let's keep on track. So, Sri Nithyananda, let’s hope for the best and just assume that you really are god, 'enlightened', and that you can make other people 'enlightened'. Let’s then look at your track record. In June of 2007, was your first batch of people that you 'enlightened' were 25 ashramite in Los Angeles? Then you replicated this miraculous accomplishment a few months later in Bidadi. There you outdid yourself, and 28 people became 'enlightened'. That comes to a total of 53 people that you claim received your 'enlightenment' in 2007. Do you agree to these calculations? And, because of this amazing feat of making 53 people 'enlightened', you, Sri Nithyananda, have became qualified to sit on a 24K gold throne?

Sri Nithyananda, of that first batch of 25 followers from Los Angeles that received your 'enlightenment', how many really became 'enlightened'? Did you not tell one senior devotee in Singapore, Ram Ramanathan, that one (let us check again, that is ‘one’ as in ‘1’) of your 'enlightened' disciples “just did not get it.” Too bad. Sri Nithyananda, of course the fault lies with that one devotee, correct? It's a little confusing. You said that they were all 'enlightened' at the time, but now you were saying that one of them was not 'enlightened' after all. What happened, Sri Nithyananda, did your 'enlightenment' wear off?

Sri Nithyananda, didn’t you have your first batch of 25 'enlightened' followers practice right after receiving your 'enlightenment' what to say if anyone tried to take their 'enlightenment' away? Why you spent a few hours on this topic, with lots of role-playing. Everyone had to practice how and what he or she personally would say, remember? Then, Sri Nithyananda, didn't you have all of your newly ‘enlightened’ people announce in front of all the other newly ‘enlightened’ people that they were now ‘enlightened’? Isn’t this a brainwashing technique called ‘group think’?

So, back to your record, you, Sri Nithyananda, admitted that one of the 25 ‘enlightened’ followers really wasn’t ‘enlightened’ a few months later after you declared that all 25 'enlightened' followers were really 'enlightened'. Was saying that 'one person didn't get it' was some sort of social control to keep everyone guessing, who might have a thought or had a fraction of a doubt if he or she might not really be ‘enlightened’? Sri Nithyananda, in other words, was this just a method to keep your 'enlightenend' followers under your tight mental influence? Sri Nithyananda, that would have been very manipulative, so I doubt that it was that, was it?

Almost two and a half years later after receiving your ‘enlightenment’, of the 25 ‘enlightened’ disciples, six (6) of the ‘enlightened’ followers have left you, and declared that you, Sri Nithyananda, run a cult or were just disgruntled. Basically, they claim that your suitable-for-hanging certificate of 'enlightenment' was false, and went on with their lives without you. Rumor has it that at least one defector was upset that your ashrams have became a hot bed for illicit sex and debauchery. Instead of brotherly love, you, Nithyananda, offer brothelly love. Nice. Is this the type of love we can expect from you, Sri Nithyananda?

So, that makes six (6) followers that are no longer ‘enlightened’. Sri Nithyananda, is six greater than one? Were you, Sri Nithyananda, able to predict that these people wouldn't get it either? After all, you, Sri Nithyananda have predicted some big things like the property market to fall, and 2012 disasters, etc. Why did you, Sri Nithyananda, fail this time? Did their 'enlightenment' just wear off like the shine on a fake gold belt buckle? Why Sri Nithyananda, here's a small tip for next time; if you give your 'enlightenment' in the form of a tattoo, I'm sure that it will take a lot longer to rub off.

So, these unexplained additional five (5) people on top of your 'revised' one (1) person who just did not 'get it', doesn't seem to be solid math, Sri Nithyananda. Is this like your wandering years that accounted for nine (9) years but were shrunk into four and a half (4.5) years? Or like your engineering certificate that you claimed to have finished 'with the highest grade - a distinction' in zero (0) years? Why, Sri Nithyananda, we think you might benefit watching a few reruns of Sesame Street.

Sri Nithyananda, of the remaining 19 ‘enlightened’ followers still dedicated to making other people 'enlightened' like themselves, is one of them your priest, Sri Nithya Ajara? After becoming ‘enlightened’, didn't Ajara divorce (with your blessings) his wife and then was free to womanize with other ladies, which caused even more divorces? Unlike a lot of people you, Sri Nithyananda, rejected as being not suitable for your 'enlightenment', doesn't Ajara have a high paying job that brings in a lot of money into your organization? More importantly for your image, doesn't Ajara know Sanskrit, so he can recite all of the Vedic mantras nicely as he does your 'priestly' functions? Sri Nithyananda, does Ajara help make you look like you have a legitimate temple, which helps bring in even more donations, and brings in more followers, and brings in more candidates that, you, Sri Nithyananda, might deem worthy of your 'enlightenment' (if they have thick enough wallets, that is)? So, is this why you, Sri Nithyananda, allowed Nithya Ajara to stay in your organization even though he has harmed so many people? It must have been a hard decision, for you to make, being an 'enlightened' healing master grounded in the truth.

Sri Nithyananda, do you realize that many of your other ‘enlightened’ people have expressed their ‘enlightenment’ by getting very fat; (this also includes Ajara.) Do you agree that most people get fat by eating too much, poor diet, not exercising, and having many psychological problems like stress, low self-esteem, and a lack of fulfillment and love? But, Sri Nithyananda, wouldn't you agree that these disciples are ‘enlightened’ with your certificate? Do these followers stay in your ashram, eat your so-called ‘sattvic’ food, and do nothing but service to you? Sri Nithyananda, is this because their inner bodies are expanding in all directions so therefore, their outer bodies also need to expand in all directions in order to still stay in this world? Wow, Sri Nithyananda, that is really heavy stuff. Perhaps you can run a new program called, "Bloat Your Way to Divinity". But, Sri Nithyananda, the word is called 'enlightenment' not 'enheavyment'. This is counterintuitive.

But, honestly, Sri Nithyananda, how did your followers then get so overweight? Does your ‘enlightenment’ really work? Please tell us, Sri Nithyananda. You, Sri Nithyananda, in the words of Ricky Ricardo, have some splainin to do.